The Vermont State Legislature is officially in session. House Speaker Shap Smith has said that the overwhelming challenge facing lawmakers this year will concern state finances. Specifically, he feels we will need to narrow a $150 million budget gap to a manageable size. Gov. Douglas got the wheels turning in this process by announcing in his final budget address a proposal that would reduce spending substantially. Unfortunately, many Vermonters will suffer from the governor's proposed cuts if they are ever implemented.

I think our friends in Montpelier are trying to solve our financial problem in the wrong manner. Cutting spending can be a painful process. You get used to having certain things, like a job, or health services, and having them taken them away can be quite traumatic and even downright inconvenient. The fact is Vermonters don't need to reduce what we spend. Spending is the American way. We just need to make more money so we have more to spend. Vermont has plenty of resources in our own backyard that can be used to generate income. As I frequently do this time of year, I have compiled a list of money making ideas to be considered by our esteemed solons. This year's entry of "Twenty-three Sure-fire, Guaranteed, Absolutely Certain Ways to Make Money and Save Vermont from Financial Ruin" is as follows:

1) Sell "Authentic Vermont Safety Cones" from one of the 600,000 road projects last summer to busloads of leaf peepers.

2) Initiate a "sin" tax on fried dough, Bloomin' Onions and creamees.

3) Initiate a "stupid" tax on all drivers who insist on speeding, tailgating, cutting people off and turning without using their directionals.

4) Charge New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Canada and New York for their beautiful view of our state.

5) Sell the remaining chunks of the Lake Champlain Bridge to the William J. Clinton Presidential Library and Museum to be displayed as the "Bridge to the 21st Century."

6) Assess lawmakers a "per word" charge for everything they say during the legislative session.

7) Have the Department of Transportation set up an "Adopt a Frost Heave" program for the state's highways.

8) Choose one week a month at random where there is no winner in the lottery and the state gets to keep the money.

9) Sell Vermont Yankee's spent fuel rods as night lights to unsuspecting tourists.

10) Give away free coffee at the Statehouse, and then set out swearing jars next to all of the locked bathroom doors.

11) Figure out a way to tax snow.

12) Bottle our exclusive Vermont Mud Season mud and sell it to the politicians in Washington, DC.

13) Randomly take names out of a Quebec phone book and send the individuals traffic tickets for speeding on I-89.

14) Sell advertising space on the sides of cows.

15) Market chunks of granite left over at the quarries as "Vermont Throw Pillows."

16) Cordon off the Northeast Kingdom and turn it into a Pioneer Land theme park.

17) Set up toll booths on the borders and charge people to come see our state.

18) Generate additional tourist interest in Montpelier by hiring Pete the Moose as honorary Sergeant-at-Arms at the Statehouse.

19) Sell Mud Season back roads maps to state visitors and then charge them double to extract them when they get stuck in the quagmire.

20) Generate pay-per-view dollars by organizing a Mixed Martial Arts Ultimate Fighting Cage Match between Lake Monster mascot Champ and Big Bird.

21) Have selected lawmakers tastefully pose nude and sell a "Men of Montpelier" calendar at gift shops around the state.

22) Generate fee income by initiating a black fly hunting season.

If the above measures fail to generate enough income to narrow Vermont's budget gap to a manageable size, I propose we do the following:

23) Hire Marko the Magician to make money mysteriously disappear from flatlanders wallets and reappear in the state coffers.

Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.